Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
