Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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