i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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