Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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