Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
