...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
