Sponge bath it is.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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