I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
