I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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