Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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