if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We are all done wearing pants today
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
