He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
