You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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