Im at strip club and am horny
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize