Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize