AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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