Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
