So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
