im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize