How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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