dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize