You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
