The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
