when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Jerry, you need to find god
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
