i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
