I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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