they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
