Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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