I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Can I color on your dick again?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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