I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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