They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
