so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Alive.
So much puke
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
