That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
There are leaves in my underwear?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
