she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
