It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
