it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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