Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
