i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
