if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
