Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Randomize
