Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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