I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize