Banned from zoo.
Again?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
