What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
