Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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