I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
