Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
