i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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