Say something about gay babies.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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