when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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