Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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