I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
