I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
