Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
