the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Randomize
