i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
