morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
