we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
